Jack, Donald

Three Cheers for Me: Volume One of the Bandy Papers

It is 1916. Bartholomew Bandy, fourth-year medical student, decides that it is time to join the War. The prim young Canadian expects that he will have few problems remaining clean and virtuous. But he is aware that his bland, horse-like face drives people crazy, and that he has a certain tendency to be accident-prone. How will the war affect him, and vice versa? The realities of trench war at the front provide a contrasting backdrop for his adventures, as he blunders into contact with all sorts of people, both fictional and historical (the King, Lester Pearson, and Winston Churchill). Three Cheers For Me was first published in 1962, to wide critical acclaim. This expanded version first appeared in 1973, to launch the series now known as The Bandy Papers.

Stalin Versus Me (Bandy Papers)

In the aftermath of the Normandy invasion, Bandy continues to bob through the ranks like a cork at sea, persecuted by one of his pilots and pursued by Gwinny, who just can't understand why her attempt to have him convicted of treason has soured their relationship. Love rears its (elegant, Belgian) head again, the King needs a man of tact and discretion for a delicate post-war job in Germany, and there's an embarrassing parcel of ladies' undies to explain, not to mention just why a half-clothed Bandy (unfortunately, not the right half) is in bed with George Garanine, that lazy, loveable, failed Bandy-assassin. From Normandy to Brussels to Yalta to Moscow, Bandy's career path is as labyrinthine as ever, strewn with bottles, battles, and brasshat blood-pressure.

Of most crucial concern to our hero, as 1944 draws to a close and 1945 sees the last grim push of the war beginning -- boozing pal Philby of the SIS couldn't possibly have any reason to get Bandy sent to the Yalta Conference except as a translator, right? And Stalin can't really be out to get Bandy, just because he happens to know that a certain Soviet leader was once a Tsarist agent provocateur. After all, we all know Uncle Joe isn't the type to hold a grudge.

Will Bandy survive? Will he get the, er, mature, middle-aged lady (unaccountably still in love with her lazy, loveable, long-lost husband)? Will a plane be purloined? Will his last few hairs hold out?

That's Me In The Middle: Volume Two of the Bandy Papers

Bartholomew Bandy has become an air ace. On the ground he causes disasters wherever he goes, but in the air he’s deadly, shooting down dozens of German planes in the course of thrilling aerial combats. To the amazement of all who know him he becomes Lieut. Col. Bandy and thanks to his new rank he meets all sorts of people, including his fiancee’s memorable family. As a handy (but disposable) war hero, he encounters a number of hair-raising adventures, not to mention English plumbing and an unforgettable honeymoon night. That’s Me In The Middle is exciting, full of military action in the trenches and in the air, and, as it continues to flirt with history, very funny.

Hitler Versus Me: The Return of Bartholomew Bandy (Bandy Papers)

February 1940 and the war has yet to hit its stride. Bartholomew Bandy, the Canadian First World War air ace, is eager to enter the fray, but at 45 he is deemed too old for combat. Until, that is, in a dramatic moonlit encounter he makes a personal appeal to Prime Minister Mackenzie King, who is only too happy to send him very far away. Soon Bandy is battling the Boche in the Battle of Britain, and battling just as hard to keep his toupee a secret.

As his many admiring readers would expect, Bandy is soon carrying on shockingly with the nobly born Guinevere Plumley, she of the gorgeous body and the face of “an admiral in drag.” Through Guinevere’s mysterious connections, Bandy meets two Winston Churchills, ends up in the wrong bed in an English country house, and plays a vital security role at the Quebec Conference of 1943. There he preserves the Bandy name while dangling from the Chateau Frontenac, and is arrested as a Nazi spy. All too soon, however, he is back on duty, only to be shot down over France, where he is sought by the Allies, the Resistance, and the Gestapo alike because he knows the date of D-Day.

Whether in London, Ottawa, Quebec City, or Normandy, Bandy is in lock step with the war’s events – feeding immortal lines to the newsmakers, inconveniencing all and sundry (Lester B. Pearson and Evelyn Waugh, to mention but two) – and always seeing history made from his own unique perspective. As the book says “Waugh is Hell.”

This One's On Me (The Bandy Papers, Volume 6) (Brady Papers, Vol 6)

It’s 1924 and our hero has made the USA too hot for him, thanks to his part in the Great Booze Robbery and his havoc-creating spell as an MP. Exile is urgently advisable.

In his only asset, a giant seaplane, Bandy sets off for Europe. His arrival in England makes a great splash – literally – as he lands in the Channel to rescue a downed pilot. But his fortunes are restored when the rescued pilot proves to be the son of the Maharajah of Jhamjarh, an Indian potentate and The Second Richest Man in the World. How Bandy creates an air force for the Indian state and becomes involved in working with Prime Minister Ramsay Macdonald against the Chief of Air Staff is the stuff of Bandy’s stranger-than-fiction memoirs.

Full of a sense of England in the 1920s, this is a worthy addition to the library of Bandyana. And he Gets the Girl!

Me So Far (Bandy Papers)

It's 1925, and Bandy has finally found a secure post-war job: commander of the Maharajah of Jhamjarh's new air force. The only problem is, the British Raj is not so happy with him for setting up a rival air power inside British India. Between the impractical Maharajah, the British viceroy, and the Great Game being played by the neighbouring state of Khaliwar, Bandy has his hands full trying to keep his employer -- and himself -- out of deadly danger.

Me Too: Volume Five of the Bandy Papers (The Journals of Bartholomew Bandy, Volume 5) (The Journals of Bartholomew Bandy, Volume 5)

After his post-war adventures in movies in New York (see Me Bandy, You Cissie) our hero returns to his Ottawa Valley home in 1923. Through a series of misunderstandings Bandy becomes the official Liberal candidate in a by-election and to the horror of the Liberal Party leaders – especially Prime Minister Mackenzie King – he wins, takes his seat in the House of Commons, and proceeds to wreak havoc there.

To finance his campaign he goes into business with Gallop’s local tycoon to smuggle booze into the Prohibition-hit United States, a profitable business until the unpleasantness with the U.S. authorities and all the shooting and wounding. But it does make him a House of Commons authority on corruption in the Canadian government, which leads to his lightning elevation to Mackenzie King’s Cabinet as Minister of Defence. Will this last?

It's Me Again (Bandy Papers)

It's 1918, and Bandy has survived the trenches and the war in the air, but now that he has his own squadron to command there are even worse things in store for him. His adjutant. A parachute test. A Paris dentist. The wrath of Brigadier Soames. Halifax hospitality... And when a new German biplane comes along that can out-perform even the Dolphin, it looks like it's the end of the war for Bandy.

Me Bandy, You Cissie (Bandy Papers) (Bandy Papers)

It’s 1920 and Ottawa’s own Bartholomew Bandy is back from the War To End All Wars. Now he’s off to New York to turn his experience as a flying ace into commercial success. While starting an airline with one giant Vickers Vimy bomber, our hero falls in love with Cissie Chaffington, the beanpole daughter of the tycoon Cyrus Q. Chaffington, last seen hectoring Prime Minister Meighen in Ottawa. To add to the perils of stunt flying over and under the Brooklyn Bridge, Bandy’s life is complicated by the arrival of Dasha, escaped from Russia and eager to make a splash with his dollars.

As always our man Bandy hobnobs with the great and famous (holding his own at the Algonquin Round Table, not to mention conversing with W.C. Fields) and even comes close to being a silent movie star. But other careers lie in store for the irrepressible lad from the Ottawa Valley, who continues to disappoint his parents by refusing to go back to medical school and settle down with a nice girl. Whether that will be Cissie – who shares in some of the funniest sex scenes ever recorded – remains to be seen.